My Room

 

I am sitting in the midst of a mess.  Open bottle of glue, scissors, paper scraps, pen, water, an open rolling cart of art supplies, printer pulled near so that I might print off pages, a ruler, a pile of trash (paper), open journals, open notebooks, my Bible...I've completely claimed one half of the dining table.

I am irritable as can be.  John is in the music room calling out to talk to me about sundry thing.  My computer is slower than molasses.  And the printer is temperamental at best.  I would like to cry, yell, fuss.  

Instead, I am fussing at myself because I know that I put myself right here in this place knowing full well I'd be distracted.

I know that above anything else, I need a space of my own.  It's the irritating gnat that keeps buzzing about my brain.

So, I've been scrolling on Pinterest to find what it is I envision for my space.  

There's a window, hopefully flanked by a pair of bookcases, tall ones that are filled with books.  Sun floods the room.  I have a wooden table between the bookcases and a comfortable chair, preferably something that will swivel and has a cushiony seat.  I'd like it to roll and have arm but not be so bulky that I can't push it into the closet when the kids are here.  The table would be just tall enough to allow me to push that rolling cart under it, out of sight.  If the table has a skirt, then so much the better.  There's a lamp, fresh flowers.

I would want a light throw to toss over my shoulders or over my legs on chilly days.  And maybe a pillow that just fits behind my back if I need the extra support.  

Oh, and I'd dearly love a proper reading chair near that worktable and lamp, someplace to sit and read in peace and quiet when I needed a break from writing or creating...

I would love to snap my fingers today and have everything I envision delivered right away. I am very much in a Verruca Salt sort of mood.  I want it NOW.  Just as I see it in my head, bookcases, throw, lamp and all...

Of course that would do me no good.  What I really want for a table is not a shiny new thing but something old and with character.  I lean hard on the 'collected' aesthetic when it comes to decorating spaces.  The chair might well be new and likely the bookcases will be the sort that require some assembly, but my NOW mentality and a curated, collected space do not go hand in hand.

There' a girl I've been following for the past year who has a blog (and vlog) called Stone Cottage Home.   Rachel's style is English Country and she's now working on creating that look in her newly purchased country home.   She takes her inspirations and then goes to Thrift stores, Antique stores, and Facebook Marketplace and slowly builds her rooms, one piece at a time.

Her theory is that you have the idea and you start with what is Good.  As time goes on, you build it up to a 'Better' version, until finally, with patience, you have the 'Best' version of what you want.  

I know that her approach is the most sensible and proper way to build the space I want.  So let me start with what I have.

At present, I have the window, a chair that has more cushion on the seat than anything else in the room, and a suitable substitute for the worktable.  It's my great grandmother's Singer sewing machine.  Not ideal, but 'good' until I can find what I want.   I can rustle up a pillow to support my back and even a light fleece throw among my things.  Not color coordinated but that will come in time.  After all, right now I'm just getting started.

And then it would be more inviting than the dining room table and all the distractions that I fall into while sitting at it.

But most of all, I need to keep saving my pennies and start actually looking for the pieces that would make the space all I want it to be.  Not as a guest room but as a space meant for me, which I shall happily lend to visitors when they come, but I will know that it is really MINE.

Now, I must run.  I've furniture to move...There's a space calling my name!