Promises to Myself, Part 2

As I write, it is the first week of March.  I restarted The Artist's Way about two weeks ago.  It is my second time through the book.   To date, I have yet to go on a single artist date. I'll wager by the time this post is published I'll still not have gone on one. The dates are meant to be a mere two or three hours carved out of a week, and it's supposed to benefit the Inner Child, the one who is the true Artist Within.  What's more, I made a promise to myself for March that I'd go on one Artist Date each week, as the author requested.  I don't want to break a promise to myself but by the same token, I don't want to go on an Artist Date either.

What is the issue?

I've been trying to sort it out in my mind for three weeks now.  There is more than mere stubborn resistance on my part, though I'll own there is some of that in it as well.  

The grown-up me has issued all the routine excuses.  "Too far.  No money to spend.  Haven't got the time."  

I live in a rural area.  Very rural.  To visit a bookshop or coffeeshop or to purchase art supplies, etc., I would need to drive nearly 45 miles one way.    If I wanted to visit a museum, etc., or art gallery, it would be even further.  These are the sorts of 'dates' suggested in the book for Artist's Dates.  And they do sound lovely!  But reality is that it would take a substantial time commitment each week if I were to embark on doing any of these, far more than 2 hours. 

 As for money, that is a habitual excuse.  I do have the funds to do any of those things should I want to.  I recognize that excuse as a statement I make out of habit rather than it being a valid reason.

Time is a consideration.  I'm already committed to keeping house, preparing meals, doing outdoor work, and setting aside time daily to write.  Something's going to have to slide off that plate if I start taking a half day to leave home and 'play'.  I have a husband who has been pretty darned good about my going off into my workroom for a few hours each day to write.  But honestly, he's not too keen on having me gone once a week for hours on end, too, while he sits home alone.  And just as honestly, I'm none too keen on it either!  We spent far too much of our first 28 years together balancing his odd work schedules and missed out on a lot of time together that many couples might take for granted.  

So, here's what I've worked out I'd like to do.  

Once a week, I'll take half day off from all but the very routine things (make the bed, rinse the dishes, make easy meals) and then I have the rest of the day to do whatever I please: craft, decorate a room for the new season, paint a picture or furniture, do a jigsaw, read, work on genealogy, sew, whatever pleases me.  Occasionally I will do one of the suggested activities in the book, but mostly I will be home doing what pleases me.  

Today, I have freshened the living room decor.  I did not clean the room, though I did dust a few surfaces.  I rearranged the piles of books on the shelves, moved a few pieces about, changed out a few things and now the room looks lovely and ready for Spring.   

I set up the lamp I decoupaged yesterday.  It's a rough finish but it's pretty.  I could seal it with one of the water-based urethanes but just now I think I'll leave it as it is, simply because at present, if I suddenly change my mind, I could easily soak off the decoupaged paper.

I've read about eight chapters of A Court of Thorn and Roses, played with styling my new haircut.  When I'm done here, I'm going to flip through one of those new magazines and clip a few images to use in future collages, then I'm going to print out some images to use on my March journal pages.   I'm going to sit down and do some genealogy research.  In between activities, I'll read further chapters of my book.  I might work on a Sudoku puzzle.  

What's more, I've felt absolutely no reluctance or resistance to allot myself this time to do these activities.  

Will I give myself a whole day again next week?  Probably not.  It's Spring and there's much to do outdoors before the pollen gets too heavy, but I can certainly foresee allowing myself a free afternoon of play one weekday each week without fail.  And that's how I'm going to keep this particular promise to me.  

P.S.  I have found a desk chair for my room and currently have it in my cart.  I just want to look around a little more and be sure I've chosen wisely for myself but by the time this post is published, I'll likely have had the chair for a couple of weeks.  And that's one more promise to myself Done!